I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
