Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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