Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize