i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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