Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
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