Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
