her vagine was all disorganized.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Randomize
