I want to walk on stilts...naked
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
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