We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
