I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Randomize
