pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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