I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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