i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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