im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
