sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Randomize