So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
