Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Randomize
