You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Randomize
