Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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