dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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