He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
