I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize
