You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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