Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
