I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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