theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Randomize