I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
