Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
