Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
