Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize