why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
