Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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