Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
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