i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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