Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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