i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
