This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Randomize
