Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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