Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
You need a sexual gate keeper
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
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