I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
