I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
You made out with two different species that night
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Randomize
