So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Randomize
