I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Randomize
