i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
