i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
