is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
