I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
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