Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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