I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
