just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
