i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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