Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
you traded sex for a burrito?
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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