Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
