You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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