omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
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