First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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