he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
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