you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
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