whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
