So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Randomize
