i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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