You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
