He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Randomize
