I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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